I have had an active healing arts practice for eighteen years and I currently notice the vibrant and enlivening sense of a new beginning. Becoming a Sex and Relationship Coach has palpably enhanced my vision for the rest of my work as a healer. As a certified Somatica Method practitioner I have solidified my understanding that my vocation is an extension of what I love about life. I love alignment on all levels, alignment within myself, to those around me, to the source of life, to the natural world.
Curiosity seems to be the key for me in regards to staying aligned. The places in my life in which I experience a lack of alignment and suffering are the times in which I feel positioned or afraid. Becoming curious tends to undermine suffering and alleviate a sense of being separate from connection to our loved ones, a greater purpose and ourselves. A good place to begin being curiousity is in regards to our bodies. When it comes to our bodies and ailments, diagnosing specific problems that we experience in order to treat the problem is extremely helpful and necessary, but stopping there can be a missed opportunity. Staying curious; slowing down in such a way that we become familiar even with what it feels like to breath, can give us one of the keys to curiosity and lead towards connection and healing. Breathing slowly in and out and sensing the way that breath fills the lungs, expands against muscles and tendons and bone, adjusting the body so that the skin feels the last push of breath expanding to capacity, can awaken curiosity. This can bring us into a state of listening, of knowing the first step of what it may take to experience healing in the body. At the very least it will help us remember that we have a body which sometimes is easily forgotten as we race through life.
Curiosity is helpful on many planes. Those of us in partnerships or marriages for many years tend to loose curiosity about our partners. We become comfortable which is natural but it also causes us to fall asleep and can ultimately swallow the expansiveness of love. Staying curious in relationship is recognizing the benefit of “not knowing”. Curiosity can be harnessed in many ways, some simple and some more difficult. Asking questions is a good beginning. In conflict we tend to revert to assuming the problem has to do with recognized habits in our partners. Sometimes conflict arises partially out of asserting what we assume is the problem rather than asking questions that might uncover something deeper. Our projections and assumptions are results of being positioned and afraid. Curiosity allows for the possibility of true intimacy, connection and at the very least, roots us in love.
What I have come to find over time is that one of the ways to establish patterns of curiosity is to recognize the benefit of connection. One of the passions I’m nurturing in my healing arts practice as a Sex and Relationship Coach is looking for ways to nurture connection in community. If you are in a romantic partnership whether it is just beginning or has been growing for years, consider enhancing your relationship through a four part series with other couples on a similar path. Here are the details.
I am so grateful for the ways in which I get to grow next to each of you.